Bugger the national crisis – triumphs have occurred on the Home front. As previously recorded the Junior Management had by crafty methods secured a Morrisons delivery slot for supplies. Before anyone gets too carried away Morrisons themselves, Asda and Tesco have all declined to issue another delivery slot until after May 9th (Tesco, if there is one available).

Yesterday morning a message was received from Morrisons that a delivery would be made between 7.00.p.m. and 8.00.p.m. Tension built up during the day as the allotted time approached with Junior Management having to be sedated at one point. All was well however as at 7.10. a Morrisons van rolled silently to the gates and the driver in three tiptoed sorties carried 8 plastic bags to be deposited outside the front door. Having obtained a wave through the window he sprinted for the gate in fine style but failed to beat the record time held by the postie, who may be older but has a superior running style (honed I suspect by years of outsprinting guard dogs).

Joy rose as the contents of the bags were examined and vital items confirmed as present. The badly needed reinforcements to the white wine section of the cellar were checked in and all seemed well until an agonised cry came from Junior Management “They have forgotten my cod”. Harmony was re-established by pointing out that the tin of mushy peas that was supposedly out of stock had in fact arrived as partial compensation. The whole day had left me emotionally drained.

To keep the tension level high this morning an unexpected message came from J S Parkers. I had on line ordered various bedding plants and a couple of small trees but had been assured that delivery would be some time in June. However it transpires that Parkers are a firm who intend to stay in business and are therefore very keen to get the money in. Consequently with unusual speed they had, via Hermes, despatched those items they could. The message from Hermes was that delivery would be made between 2.00.p.m. and 4.00.p.m today. Now the Hermes courier, who we see regularly, has a significantly different delivery technique which had been previously negotiated. He proposed that as all Hermes orders have to be signed for he would place orders on the bench outside the door and then sign the delivery note himself. As he said “I know what your scrawl looks like so no problem”. He would then enter on his computer that the delivery had been delivered and signed for. As he sagely pointed out the system merely records that the delivery has been signed for, not by who! As soon as he enters it I get an email to say that signed delivery has been made so I just go out and retrieve the package, Nice one Cyril (which catch phrase you may remember if you are old enough and a Tottenham Hotspur supporter) – if not there is something to occupy you looking up. By 3.45 nothing had emerged but I was still too emotionally drained to worry to much. However at 3.55 a message pinged in that delivery had been made at 3.53 and looking out the window there was the package. Job for tomorrow, weather permitting. It has been a bloody awful day today, light rain all day.

THEN there was a further success on the provisions front. The local bakery who have just started a delivery service dropped off a delivery of bread, milk, eggs etc. His delivery method differs significantly from the others. He parks his van round the corner, phones on his mobile to say that he will be leaving the order outside the gates and then whips down the lane to the gate to drop the order before anyone from within the leper colony has time to race out and infect him. Examination of the package confirmed the order was correct, including a large bag of bird food. On another day I will enlighten you on the inhabitants of the estate who on occasions make it resemble a wild life centre.

AND joy, oh unbounded joy a large fresh cheese and onion pasty I shall eating for my lunch tomorrow.

These major victories have left me triumphant, but completely emotionally drained. Therefore it being 5.00.p.m. I have just poured myself a generous scotch and ginger ale. Grants distillery strength 46.5% proof as opposed to the normal Grouse 40% or 37.5% inferior offerings. A decent kick to it. The only slight downside is that it had to be an image conscious Fever Tree ginger ale as the normal Canada Dry was unobtainable. Twice the price and nothing special. However still slipping down quite nicely.

CHEERS!