Quite a hectic day yesterday with various deliveries due. First off was the Hermes warrior. The usual inventive chappie as it turned out who has further honed his technique. I had nipped out to post a letter (yes Mr Drakeford this is Wales but you said I can leave the estate on foot) and so was able to view his delivery from afar. Obviously girl friend has been recruited so as the van drew up at the gates he leapt out, sprinted for the bench at the front door, deposited the parcel, turned round and head down went for the gate lowering the best time for the return leg to just under 6 seconds (recorded as 5.9 for record purposes). Meanwhile his driver turned the van round and pushed open the door ready for a speedy getaway. In he leapt and espying me he waved and shouted “She’s signed for you” as they sped past. From which I conclude his girl friend is trained to fill in the delivery dockets. There must be a future in politics for that man, or running Transport for London.

Next up Yodel who were due to deliver essential supplies (case of wine) sent by International Management who is currently confined to barracks working from home in London and who would be arrested at the bridge by Drakesford’s storm troopers should she attempt to return to home base. Yodel have a very interesting on line system where you can track the progress of your delivery. Early in the day I received a message that I would be delivery number 51, along with a map showing the depot start point and our destination. This page updates continually telling you how many deliveries before yours and pinpointing on the map precisely where the van is. The tension mounts as the number of stops still to be made decreases. There is a further refinement that you can use. If you press the add sign a number of times you can blow the map up to see exactly where the van is and in a rural area such as this identify the actual house. Heaven on earth for a nosy parker. Anyway as the tension mounted the van seemed becalmed at a spot 2 deliveries before mine so blowing the map right up I identified the house in question – never liked them anyway so that is one card marked. Finally delivery arrived and photo taken of Junior Managements legs beside the case to prove delivery.

Finally, later in the day, came vital Tesco supplies in slot secured by superior skills of Senior Management. Delivery came in about a dozen plastic bags. Oh Joy! Which quickly turned to consternation as Junior Management counting them in discovered a large number of cans of Pepsi (horrible stuff) which were certainly not on the order. This led to a quick further examination which revealed multiple items missing and a shout to the delivery man to return. At social distance length discussion led to the delivery man going back to his van to check that the tray was empty of bags and a frenzied check against order list to establish what was missing.. It appeared that nothing more could be done so off trundled the van taking away the unwanted Pepsi. Disaster loomed as both the brioche loaf and the crumpets designated for breakfast today had failed to arrive. Given the desperate situation, more in hope than anything else, I phoned Customer Services, a number that seemed to be in deepest Welwyn Garden City. To my total shock a real person answered the phone and was able to bring up on his computer a list of my order. He was able to then note the missing items as I read them out to him. He apologised and said he would arrange a refund. I responded by pointing out the starvation level we would reach without these items. Changing his tack he asked me to wait while he contacted the store. After a relatively short time he came back on the line to report that the store had checked and all the items were definitely loaded on the lorry and so he would now contact the driver if I would hold again. Almost immediately there was a knock on the door and there at a safe distance was the delivery man holding 2 bags which it transpired had been hidden in amongst his next very large delivery in a different part of the van. As he was explaining this his phone rang and indeed it was Customer Services on the line. So all was well although I was left emotionally drained.

I therefore fortified myself with a small glass of year 2000 home produced sloe sherry. Very sweet, full bodied and extremely potent it has mellowed nicely over time. No orders please as stocks are severely limited. Later to aid recovery I had a couple of glasses from the lower end of the cellar. First a Yellow Tail Pure Bright Pinot Grigio. Frankly disappointing. You can often expect Australian wine to be a little like Australians themselves, a bit brash and lacking refinement but at least with a bit of character. This offering was harmless but lacking in any real taste or substance. To be avoided. More satisfactory was the South African Kumala 2019 Shiraz 14%. Plenty of substance here with a pleasant slightly smokey fruity lingering taste. Probably could have done with another year before going on the shelf but quite acceptable now.